confused_and_torn's Xanga

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Wed, 16 Nov 2005 02:27:20 GMT

OUR BAND WON STATE DIVISION 4!!!!!! WE ARE THE MOTHER FREAKIN CHAMPIONS WHAT WHAT!

Anyways other than that..things are shitty. People keep talking crap about me behind my back and I'm sick of it. I'm planning on going to a different school. Not that anyone would care.

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Tue, 08 Nov 2005 15:18:21 GMT

http://www.nydressco.com/detail.php?mode=regular&from=68&id=731 That website has the dress I want for prom...it is like SOOOO perfect for me and I'm in love with it. Too bad I'm not going this year...I told myself I'd only go this year if I had someone to go with and...haha I don't..and I doubt I will.But I'm going my senior year no matter what...I can't wait til next year...C/O 07!! W00T! Well yeah that's all I wanted to put.

Monday, November 07, 2005

Mon, 07 Nov 2005 15:08:45 GMT

Our band is going to state!!! We went to 2 competitions the last 2 saturdays and we received excellents at both! State is Saturday the 12th...wish us good luck. I was so surprised that we got an excellent Saturday..we had a really off day. Plus they put us in division III and we'er supposed to be division IV. Anyway ..I'M SO FRICKIN EXCITED!!

Well Thanksgiving is coming up and so is my mom's birthday. I can't wait to eat all that yummy food. haha I sound like a fat person lol. well anyway I don't have much else to say.

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Thu, 27 Oct 2005 19:44:45 GMT

Well I haven't updated in a while so I think I will. Everything is shitty as usual. Our house got broken into last week and someone took all of my mom's jewelry and my box of change. Then they took off with her car and they still haven't found it yet.

School has been hell...I've been overloaded with homework and all. I've had to write essays and do my lab and write a freakin speech. Which, by the way, I did an awesome job on it! The speeches before me were kinda slow and boring bt when I got up there I had everyones attention. Sorry to be conceited I'm just really proud of myself.

Well our last football game is tomorrow. Then we have our first band competition on Saturday. We're probably gonna suck our band is pretty horrible. Well that's all for now. If you ever wanna read more or hear from me more you should get a myspace account if you don't already have one... here's the link to my site www.myspace.com/danielle_chicky

Sunday, October 09, 2005

Sun, 09 Oct 2005 18:20:18 GMT

He gave me his rose
kissed with dew droplets
that were overflowed
with his feelings tainted...

I blindly grabbed the stem
delicate, and thin
thinking to myself..
that I wanted to be with him

my hand cupped the rose
then pressed against the thorn
and along with my heart
my skin was torn

the rose matching the blood red
that fell to the ground
the rose tumbled with it
with absolutely no sound

as it left my palm
it turned dark and dry
the beauty now gone
as it lay to die

when self inflicted
pain is not pain
when the razor touches my skin
and strikes my vein

but when unexpected
your heart is viciously exposed
to the unbarable anguish and heartache
caused by your rose

~*~*Danielle Siqueiros October 9, 2005*~*~

Monday, October 03, 2005

Mon, 03 Oct 2005 19:44:59 GMT

w00t!! I have a week off!! I stayed the night at Jen's the other night and we went and saw Cry_Wolf..it was pretty good. Homecoming was on Friday..we lost AGAIN...no surprise. There was a dance afterwards...but I didn't go...couple of my friends did though.

So yeah...there was this bulletin on Myspace...I'll post it..

someone is thinking of you
someone cares about you.
someone misses you
someone wants to hold your hand.
someone wants you to be happy.
someone wants to hug you.
someone will do anything for you.
someone needs to know your love is unconditional.
someone wants to tell you how much they care.
someone wants to stay up watching movies w/ you.
someone wants to hold you in their arms.
someone wants to see you.
someone wants to be your lover.
someone loves you for who you are.
someone loves the way you make them feel.
someone wants to be with you.
someone wants you to know they are there for you.
someone is glad that you're their friend.
someone is wishing you would notice them.
someone wants to get to know you better.
someone wants to hear your voice
someone loves you.

^^that's it...and anywho...I posted it..and this guy that I like reposted it...and he titled it "these things are sickening but I'll repost anyways" ...so I asked him why he thoght it was gross and he said "because I could never imagine any of that being true for me" And I told him "maybe you should be more open minded because sometimes...I'm that someone." And he's like "you would want to watch movies with me all night?" and that kinda made me mad because I knew he was avoiding what I meant so I told him " yeah ...and other things on the list too" and all he said was "that's nice" ...I feel so frickin retarded for even saying anything...there's more to the story..but I don't wanna type it..

well...this song reminds me of someone... just thought I'd post it.

Beautiful Disaster

He Drowns In His Dreams
And Exquisite Extreme I Know
He's As Damned As He Seems
And More Heaven Than A Heart Could Hold
And If I Tried To Save Him
My Whole World Could Cave In
It Just Ain't Right
It Just Ain't Right

Oh And I Don't Know
I Don't Know What He's After
But He's So Beautiful
Such A Beautiful Disaster
And If I Could Hold On
Through The Tears And The Laughter
Would It Be Beautiful
Or Just A Beautiful Disaster

He's Magic And Myth
As Strong As What I Believe
A Tragedy With
More Damage Than A Soul Should See
And Do I Try To Change Him
So Hard Not To Blame Him
Hold On Tight
Hold On Tight

Oh Cause I Don't Know
I Don't Know What He's After
But He's So Beautiful
Such A Beautiful Disaster
And If I Could Hold On
Through The Tears And The Laughter
Would It Be Beautiful
Or Just A Beautiful Disaster

I'm Longing For Love And The Logical
But He's Only Happy Hysterical
I'm Waiting For Some Kind Of Miracle
Waited So Long
So Long

He's Soft To The Touch
But Frayed At The End He Breaks
He's Never Enough
And Still He's More Than I Can Take

Oh Cause I Don't Know
I Don't Know What He's After
But He's So Beautiful
Such A Beautiful Disaster
And If I Could Hold On
Through The Tears And The Laughter
Would It Be Beautiful
Or Just A Beautiful Disaster

He's Beautiful
Such A Beautiful
Oh, Beautiful
Beautiful Disaster
Beautiful Disaster

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Wed, 28 Sep 2005 03:40:17 GMT

Trees naked, bare of leaves
Like the hole in my life
left open and vulnerable...
susceptible to the bacteria
of the hatred from other beings
my beat up emotions...
left on my everlasting deathbed
the pigment in my skin
bland and dull
until one day,
I feel a ray of gold
warming my curdled, cold blood
painting color to my face
with the delicate tip
of the finest paintbrush
The most brilliant colors
cover the pale blue that once lay
Then, a gust of wind
blew the new offspring of leaves
that wait for dew droplets
in the morning glow of the day
The luminous sun fills
the cloudless, clear, blue sky
and the hole in my life
is plugged with bliss
which is now the drain..
that keeps the water from flowing
into the hole, the center
of my life

~*Danielle Siqueiros September 27, 2005*~

Sunday, September 25, 2005

Sun, 25 Sep 2005 13:53:58 GMT

I have a sinus infection...blegh it sucks I can't stop coughing. Well the football game went ok...we didn't suck as bad as we did last time but I can't say that for our football team. They lost 6-52! how pathetic is that..but at least the got ONE touchdown...and they coulda gotten the field goal but noooo.

On Saturday me and Jen went to a car wash for Races United and H.T.I.N. It's sposed to go to The Hurricane Katrina victims..we raised over $200 which is awesome. And I found out Michael has a hot body lol he took his shirt off. That's all that really happened...so yep...homecoming on Friday...

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Wed, 21 Sep 2005 03:08:54 GMT

Things have actually been pretty good lately. I mean...life is actually happening and it scares me to think about it. I've been thinking about colleges and stuff. I think I'm pretty well involved in my school... I'm in races united which is a club, I'm in band, I'm in sports, I went to Bruintown, andI participate in some school activities. I also got chosen to be in NHS (National Hono Society) It's where you do community service and other things to help out the community and environment. I have to fill out this application and hopefully I'll be accepted.

I'm pretty happy with my grades right now. I have all A's and B's. I've been scoring B's on all my tests even my physics w00t! I have a GPA that's higher than 3.4 I'm jsut not quite sure what it is thuogh. Plus I'm taking all honors classes to. God I really hope I can get a scholarship for music because that's what I really wanna do.

Well I'm gonna stop typing now before I jinx it all.

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Wed, 21 Sep 2005 03:08:51 GMT

Things have actually been pretty good lately. I mean...life is actually happening and it scares me to think about it. I've been thinking about colleges and stuff. I think I'm pretty well involved in my school... I'm in races united which is a club, I'm in band, I'm in sports, I went to Bruintown, andI participate in some school activities. I also got chosen to be in NHS (National Honor Society) It's where you do community service and other things to help out the community and environment. I have to fill out this application and hopefully I'll be accepted.

Well I'm gonna stop typing now before I jinx it all.